God’s Plan

When I hear that it is “God’s plan” about when we will have children it makes me think two things. Number one, it makes me think that you do not know me well enough to be having this conversation with me. Number two it makes me think you’re an asshole. For those that do know me, you know that I respect each and every person’s right to religion and whatever God they pray to. I do not however accept or respect when others try to rationalize your life with their own beliefs. I am fuzzy on what my actual beliefs are. I like to think there is a God, but I do not believe that he/she/it is specific to one church or one religion. I also do not believe that God is a vengeful being that plans out each one of our individual existences on such a scheduled path that he would insert infertility into some of our lives.
A Facebook friend today posted a note about how perhaps pregnant women on Facebook should think before they post complaints about their pregnancy constantly. It is a point that I have posted on before. It was not an attack on their friends, but a reminder that sometimes some of us are struggling with a silent disease and that perhaps we should remind ourselves daily for the blessings that we are given. While the majority of responses were positive and encouraging and in agreement with the poster, it never fails to amaze me some of the naivety in other’s responses. This is not limited to bearing a child. This included the “it’s God’s Plan” reply. It’s a bad reply. If it is too awkward for you to talk about, then do not ask, or do not reply at all. Trust me when I say, it is better to have someone be the eternal optimist, the “it will eventually happen” or better yet, the “I’m sure that is difficult, I will pray/send jujus/do a monkey dance for you”.Using religion, somehow implies that we have done something wrong to deserve God’s scorn, and that we are being punished. If that were true, and God was inflicting us with infertility for our sins, there would be a lot less children on this planet. #TRUTH. The post also reminded me that Women struggling with infertility that already have children are still women struggling with infertility. Period. Their battle and desire to have another should not be silenced by their peers just because they have children already. It does not quench or lessen their desire to grow their family. Peace, love, and baby dust to all of those women out there.


2 thoughts on “God’s Plan

  1. My therapist and I had a long talk last night about people using God as a way of excusing the bad things that happen in life and how insensitive it is to do so without first identifying if that person has your same beliefs and even then it’s only acceptable if the person you’re talking to is the type of person that needs something like that said to them. Too many people think that saying it was “God’s plan” for things think it’s a comfort but who really wants to believe in a God who’s plan it is for these awful things to happen? Better yet, who rejoices and thanks God for his “gift” of infertility and loss and disease and famine? I think those people would be hard pressed to someone dying of cancer thanking God for his plan. /end rant

  2. Exactly Foxy! Your therapist puts it in a little bit more eloquently than I do when I call them assholes… But if the shoe fits…<3
    And now I think I will treat myself to a pumpkin spice latte on the way to the IVF seminar with your gift card!

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