The acronyms are ridiculous. If you’re TTC (trying to conceive) you most likely are already a hot mess without having to figure out all these abbreviations. WTF? Bet you know that one.
I still get confused and have to ask the Google sometimes what they mean, so I am guessing our friends and family that read this blog to stay caught up and not for actual experience/reference often feel somewhat lost. For instance, over the past several years, we’ve had several failed and/or cancelled IUI’s (intrauterine inseminations) and are currently waiting on the results of our first IVF (in vitro fertilization) which has included an ER (egg retrieval) and ET (embryo transfer). Right now our current status is PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I managed to make it through three years of fertility chaos thinking that people’s HPT (home pregnancy test) results (BFN or BFP) meant Bona fide Negative or Bona fide Positive. Turns out, it’s Big Fat Negative and Big Fat Positive. Who knew? You could also refer to us today as 10dp5dt (Ten days past five day transfer). Still following? This is actually cracking me up even trying to write this post.
So PUPO. All that really means is that you have to baby yourself as if you were pregnant and hope that AF (Aunt Flo) stays far far away. For instance, no excessive caffeine, no drinking, no meds that aren’t on pregnancy approved lists, etc. it doesn’t actually mean anything YET. We are still on Estrace (estrogen pills), baby Asprin, and PIO (Progesterone in Oil injections). The shots are still terrible but not unmanageable. PC (Prince Consort as I like to call him or DH –dear husband to others or SO-significant other) is becoming a pro. Remember this is the same guy I thought would black out on our first injection is now handling them like he’s been doing it forever. I ice up for a few minutes before hand and then lay on the couch ass up when it’s go-time. I mostly pet Bandito and love on him while it’s happening as a distraction. So far so good. We keep re-drawing the sharpie targets on my cheeks when they get light, but I am not even sure they’re necessary anymore, the bruises and needle marks are pretty good targets themselves. If we can get that Bona fide big fat positive, then we would be on the PIO (or suppositories maybe) for 9-11 weeks.
Below are some of the others I’ve figured out as we’ve gone along.
- BD-baby dance-seriously just call it sex. Dance makes it sound so glorified. It’s not that glorified this far in. We are currently on no BD’ing restrictions until we know more. Reason #74538457389 I am glad I am married to a super patient guy.
- BCP-birth control pills. Monsters.
- CD-cycle day. The new calendar you live and breathe by.
- DPO-days past ovulation. Same as above, you schedule your life, travel and insanity by this.
- EWCM-Egg white cervical mucus. This is a gross one and it’s exactly what you think it is. It’s amazing in this process how your filters and standards of “what is gross” completely dissolve.
- IMHO-In my humble opinion (I always thought it was in my honest opinion). Either way, with a few exceptions, I mostly don’t want other people’s opinions-humble, honest or otherwise ***perfect timing update*** after I wrote this post today, including the line about IMHO, I received a gift from Cheese…a journal that represents the ultimate Judgy Poodle!
- O-ovulation. That thing in my life that doesn’t cooperate.
- OPK-ovulation prediction kit. Basically the ovulation version of the HPT. All it ever accomplished for me was frustration at lack of cooperating body.
- POAS-Pee on a stick. The money sucking desire to take every HPT you can get your hands on in hopes that THIS one might be it. Also known to cause mental instability. At some point, you stop buying them.
- TMI-Too much information. No longer valid in fight with infertility.
- TWW-two week wait. Longest two weeks of your life. Always.