I know you’re singing that in your head now. You’re welcome. We are now down to under a week. Where in the living hell did this entire pregnancy go? While my body certainly feels 9+ months pregnant, I still can’t believe WE ARE HERE. Getting pregnant was hard. IVF was hard. Even staying optimistic through the early pregnancy bleeding/SCH was hard. In these final days though, it’s like I’ve almost forgotten some of the misery because it’s finally “our turn”. October being infertility and infant loss awareness month seems like as good of a time as any to feel so humbled by the whole journey. But we are saying goodbye to October and hello to parenthood. And while I can’t change the infertility struggle, I can be grateful we got a chance–that all too many don’t get– to bring our biggest dream to real life. I have to take the car seat to get checked at the fire station for safe installation and maybe I will finally drop off all the sharps containers filled with needles from the past year+. I don’t want to ever forge, I can’t forget. It’s part of what has gotten us here. It’s part of what has kept us so thankful, humbled, and reminded us that nothing in life is easy or promised to you. No one is entitled.
Because I have managed to keep sugars under strict lock and key, my OBGYN feels like we are still ok to at least attempt vaginal delivery. If little man hasn’t arrived on his own by next Friday, we will be induced. Seriously, it’s weird thinking we are that close. I haven’t been barely dilated at all for the last few weeks, first nothing, then a mere fingertip. I have however in a week gone from 0% effacement to 80%, which seems encouraging. The doctor mentioned a week ago that induced labor can be very long and drawn out, but yesterday seemed more optimistic by the effacement because apparently that’s where a lot of the delay can be with the need of cervical thinners, etc. For the induction, we will start with Cervidil, in hopes that will be enough to kick start labor without the need for a Pitocin drop. She prefers to use that as a secondary option, and I am fine with that. We’ve had mixed stories of course with induction experiences and I am just putting our hopes in the fact that we are one of the a)successful inductions and b) that it’s not horrific. Either way, worth the price we pay in getting Poodle Baby here safely.
The hospital bag is packed and in the car, the car seat isn’t. I want to have the car vacuumed out tonight to be honest before I have it put in! Weird right? Maybe that’s a nesting signal, who knows. My mom comes back to town tomorrow and I will feel a lot more assured once she’s on the ground. She’s here obviously to be part of welcoming PB and have lots of cuddle time with him, but also to help us maintain as much “normalcy” in the house as possible with pets, food, chores, etc. PC will get two weeks of “daddy days” from work and another week of vacation, so I will have lots of extra hands for the month of November which I am thankful for. My dad will drive down at some point this month too! My last day of work until February is today and it’s strange, but in a good way. I think I’ve wrapped everything up, but it’s definitely strange to think about being gone so long after 10 years here. The nursery is full of stuff, but still needs some final arranging and organization and I’m optimistic my mom and I can knock that out before he arrives. Tomorrow is Halloween, and although PC and I made some decorations for outside–actually mostly PC which is funny because he is NOT into crafty things. I’ve been a mega-slacker in terms of costumes. I will answer the door to trick-or-treaters as a pregnant lady maybe…meanwhile PC the man-child is dressed as Megaman for work today and will likely answer the door in that tomorrow.
Happy Halloween to all, and guessing next update will be after PB’s arrival. Keep your fingers crossed, prayers, wishes, hopes and juju’s rolling for us please!